Sunday, August 5, 2012

[rti4empowerment] Yes you can. But only if you decide to come out of cacoon

 

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Yes you can. But only if you decide to come out of cacoon

Life as it is 1( fight your weakness) : Someone coxed me to speak on Gandhi Jayanti Day when I was in 10Th standard.
I fumbled miserably and cud hardly speak few words and left the stage. The compere one Bahadur singh nepali further humiliated me by saying Ata jata kuch nahi aur chale aate hein mic per ki logo ko impress karange but phir kahate hain eisa ho gay , vaisa ho gaya are mera to kachara ho gaya.
I talked to my daddy on this. He advised me to stand opposite mirror and speak from written speeches. I somewhat picked up.In first year of my college I became group leader of several college associaations. And went on to become President of Jaycees youth club, Leos, Lions, etc etc... By this age I must have spoken to audience of 5 to 15000 and for a minute to few hours at a stretch on varied topics. I have spoken in street meetings, political meetings, meetings of proffessionls, meetings in 5 stars etc etc. I have conducted several seminars, discourses, leadership training programmes etc. I am not a very popular speaker (due to my tone and harsh language but is still sought after.
Humiliation and criticism are blessings for me.
NB: Join coaching, training,courses, etc.
Life as it is 2(use resources to overcome difficulties): Earlier I use to pronounce Sha as sa. Some of the friends started teasing me. I realised I have to improve.And after lot of practice and due to the efforts and coaching of my dear friend Manohar krishna Pandit I did pick up correct pronounciation.
NB: Go to speech therepist,plastic surgeon,personality developing institute, etc to overcome inabilities.
Life as it is 3: Same was with English. We speak Hindi at home and were sent to 5 KM away to Hindi school though English schools were in our vicinity. I picked up English in a very interesting style. My daddy asked me to memorise atleast one new word daily to be picked up while on way to school from hoardings,boards, name plates , banners etc on way. Besides he subscribed to English edition of Indrajal comics published by Times. One may evade English text books but can't miss reading English comics.
Then came issue of friends and connections.
NB: There r cheap ways availble around us to over come shortcoming and shine out.
Life as it is 4: Bury the darkside of your personality: I daily hear we won't go to so and so place or so and so group etc as no one speaks to us or no one knows us.
I would react by saying you did not speak to them, you did not introduce yourself to them. Therefore from same crowd many felt lonely and left out. So it is never an issue that you are alone but it is an issue that you have chosen to be alone/ secluded/ lonely/cut off.
And if u hv complex of any kind that they r more monied. or more sought after then that is an easiest thing to counter. Simple, very simple. Due to my social work and activism I was appointed Special Executive Magistrate when I was just 21 years of age. So people started calling me to gatherings and were proudly introducung me to their gang. I have a very bad voice, very bad at playing musical instrments, very bad in sports and on topics of sports and films which used to be and r still favourite time pass in trains and picnics and informal gatherings. So I learnt cracking jokes. So while I was poor participant in group singing/ antakshari but I was popular for lighter moments and so also for hosting/ comparing/ conducting show/ games etc.
So you see not always looks or money matters. You can make yourself popular / liked/ sought after by improving in talent/ hobbies etc...
Life as it is : Be creative and use resources with large heart as God has given same for you to share: Often there r people around us who have habit of only chasing celebrities or monied. But who does these who's who/ celebrities chase?? These celebrities and others respect those who have awnsers to lot of problems which keep cropping up in everyones life. So become awnser to atleast few of the issues of your near and dear ones and by helping them become part of their family/ close knit circle.
Due to road accident of my father and age of my father and mother our movement to social life were some what restricted. Late beloved friend Dr J V Bhatt advised me to make them member of a senior citizens group at Santacruz West. I attended one meeting for sake of exposure. At my young age I had even arranged All India Conferences not to mention having run so many other organisations. LO! what I find, it was very easy to run a senior citizens group at my place. And if god has been kind enough to give me something so librally (place in city like Mumbai) then why not make best use of same. http://marigoldhall.blogspot.in/
About 8 years back I started senior citizens group known as Varishtha Nagrik Seva Sanstha and last Friday was our 208Th meeting. http://varishthanagrik.blogspot.in/
About three years back I suffered a bout of depression. While I was doing OK due to medication but still felt need to have a group of fun and frolic making friends. I went with my wife to friends like Shri Suresh Chabra, Shri Narendra Paliwal and others and gave the idea of having homogenous group of jain members for sake of fun , food and picnic and yatras. Idea mooted by us is a now a well sought after group of like minded members alligned closer then family members.
Make life happy and enjoy : Remember a mean, criminal minded, shy, snatcher of happiness of others can not enjoy life and only lives in Ahnkar which explodes with one major bad incidence in life
So friends, especially teens and retired, take own initiative to rise, develop personality, develop hooner (talent) and develop friend circle and group of well wishers. Do not wait for right time, right people or others to take initiative, others to spend money. Take first step ...not today... but just now... start with sending sms on friendship day....invite one senior citizen or not so successful old friend Sudama (Play Krishna) over a cup of tea…..
Happy friendship day to you all...
NB: Hooner was my dadji's favorite word and he always emphasised on concentratinga nd developing hooner.
I wanted to add some memorable phots like playing cricket with Helen ( top film star of yester years and my favorite film actress) ( match played for Koyana flood releif fund), receiving award from Police commissioner, GM MTNL, with leaders , with top proffessional etc.. and not for boasting but to show that a simple ordinary person from a medicer family cud achieve something so you can achieve much more.
Alok Tholiya
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